BLaZE and I have known each other since freshman year of college. It comes as no surprise that we have a few stories. This one comes to us from sophomore year when BLaZE and I had a geology class together. This particular story begins the first day of class and continues on throughout the semester, and finally culminates at the end-of-semester fieldtrip for the class.
As any college student knows, the first day of class is probably the most important day for that class all semester. The first day is more important than any exam day, more important than any project due date, more important than any other. This is because the first day is when you choose your seat. BLaZE and I walked into class early on the first day, hunting for that perfect seat. We found a couple of seats which were roughly in the middle of the class, but off to the side. Close enough to pay attention when needed, but definitely not in immediate danger of being called on by the professor. We set down our backpacks as if we were explorers claiming new land for our country. Clearly everyone in the class knew that these were our seats. And there was much rejoicing… yay!
The next day we arrive at class and someone had usurped our throne. It was chaos. A feeling of panic set in as we scrambled to find seats. Once situated, we immediately set to focusing our hatred towards this invader.
This guy was the cookie cutter ‘social outcast’ who had his own unique identity… just like everyone else. He had black framed ‘nerd’ glasses with no real prescription (I’m assuming), Abercrombie jeans, and a fake vintage t-shirt. Throw in an armband and messy hair which he probably spent 2 ½ hours to get just right and you have this guy. Oh, I should also mention that he is one of these people that he carries an iPod wherever he goes. Not to listen to music, but because it’s the cool thing to do. I will refer to him as ‘Toolbag’ from now on.
Funny side story, but at one point in the semester I actually fashioned a grappling hook out of string and staples for the purpose of retrieving his iPod which would lay in a jumbled mess on the ground below his chair. Not to steal per-say, but so we could view his music collection and laugh. What’s that? He has Alanis Morissette followed by Public Enemy #1…. Yep, he’s a thug alright. Anyways, I actually hooked his iPod one day, but with my better judgment kicking in, slid it back.
Back to the story! The semester drew on with this seat stealing villain continually acting like a toolbag, and our hatred continuing to grow. I won’t get into too much detail, namely because this happened a number of years ago already and my memory is growing hazy. The big day came when we would have our final field trip to explore local geological areas of interest. BLaZE and I tried to avoid Toolbag as much as possible, but contact was inevitable. During our lunch, we settled down near a river. To pass the time a few of us in the class had started throwing rocks at a bigger rock jetting out from the water maybe 25 yards away. We had thrown a few rocks, and then walked away as Toolbag and his two lackey friends walked up. As we walked by Toolbag opened his toolbag mouth and said “Note to self, don’t act like primate on fieldtrip.” I was almost in disbelief when he said this, apparently BLaZE was too because he had this shocked look on his face. I am actually proud of myself because I was able to process what he had said and come back with “Note to self, don’t act like douche bag on fieldtrip” before we had walked by each other completely. Toolbag heard and gave a half-turn as if to start saying something, then caught himself and scurried away with his lackeys following. A few days later class ended and we never heard from Toolbag again. A happy ending (fairy tale, not massage parlor).
BLaZE, your thoughts?
1 comment:
Oh man, I would kill to have the binder from that class where we would draw cartoons of him and the people behind us. Which were also caricatures who need a blog post. To bad my memory sucks.
And we actually weren't throwing rocks, the football linemen was. This big Jock of a guy. Which is why I was soo suprised. Tool said the primate line within hearing of these football jocks and somehow they missed it. I thought I was going to see a homicide that day, and all I got was Assailant 9 putting him in his place, which is nearly just as good.
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