Sly

I watched my best friend die today. A friend, who I’ve known most of my life. A friend, whose influence on me is only bested by a select few. Today, I put my dog, Sly, to sleep.

I’ve known this day has been coming for a long time, but that hasn’t made it any easier. What I remember of this morning is in a haze. Waking up, showering, driving. I recall it all, but only barely. The only thing I remember clearly is the sick feeling in my stomach, which is still with me even now.

Before I knew what happened, my Mom and I were in the office and the Vet had brought in a syringe. We sat there comforting our dog as the Vet prepared. Sly needed no calming down; he was calm as usual, always willing to do anything for his masters.

I tried to hold everything back, to be strong for Sly and for my mom. But as I felt my friend drift away, there was nothing I could do. Tears streamed down my cheek as I said my final goodbyes. Good boy Sly, good boy.

My mom and I left in a daze, the ride home was totally silent. I recall both of us were talking but I couldn’t hear. When we got home neither of us really knew what to do. We sat and retold stories. Like how my brother and I would use Sly as a pillow as we watched TV, or how he would drag us across the yard through a fresh snow. I’m secretly wishing we would stop talking and hope my friend is in a better place. Selfishly, I asked if I could have Sly’s collar. Without a second thought my Mom agreed, although I could tell she wanted to keep it. And that is where I am right now. Holding Sly’s collar – not sure if I’ve even put it down.

Over the last 13 years Sly never held a grudge, never “didn’t have time” for you, he was always in good spirits, and always willing to protect his family to the death. Even as his health was failing, he never whined or complained. He was always there, always happy, always a good boy.

Goodbye Sly, you will never be replaced and always be remembered. You were my friend, my pillow, my crutch, my guardian. You were my dog.

I'm still alive

Chipotle: A Chronological Tale

Lions and Tigers and Bears! Oh My!

Everybody run! It’s a ferocious lion! --ROAR

Wait, nevermind...

Carnivore?

Awesome...

I got a new car!!! -Psych!

The silence has been broken. I have finally decided to post again. It isn’t that I haven’t had anything exciting happen lately. It’s quite the opposite actually. I’ve been extremely busy with a lot of very cool things. But what has finally made me post again is something that has me so angry and frustrated that I really don’t know what else to do.

After 8 long years of sticking true to the marvel of modern engineering that is my car, I’ve decided to see other cars. I even found one I like too. This new car in my life is shiny, and exciting, and not a 12 year old beater car. After days of going back and fourth, I finally decided to do what any self-respecting American would do, frivolously throw my savings towards something that I in no way need (granted I do need a new car, but I don’t need a car with all ridiculously awesome stuff this car has). I went to the dealer after work today with the assumption that I would ride home in style. I was wrong.

The experience started off with talk of numbers and minimal paperwork. I gave my payment method some thought and finally decided on putting 60% down and paying the remaining 40% over the next 36 months. For some strange reason, I figured that I would be in good shape for a loan seeing as I was putting down a huge down payment, and have excellent credit. So the paperwork was sent off and I sat and waited. Twenty minutes pass and the loan officer walks up and starts talking to me about how I am not an attractive offer to the credit bureaus, and that the bureaus had rejected me. However, they will offer me a loan with a relatively high interest rate through the dealership. Obviously I was a bit taken back at the thought.



Let me get this straight: credit bureaus don’t want to assume the risk of loaning me money. I know people that are over 60k in debt, make late payments, etc that were offered a loan. But apparently the guy that has worked for the past 11 years to avoid going into debt and paying off college, who makes payments on time, who is obviously completely awesome, is too risky for the banks to loan to. How the freak does this make sense? No wonder the banking/loan/mortgage business is in the effing crapper. They would rather throw money at idiots who can’t handle their money than take a low-risk opportunity.

Now instead of wanting a freaking sweet car, I want to spit in that loan officer’s coffee.


gg guys, gg.

EDIT: Someone who wears big-boy pants over at the dealership called and apologized at the ridiculous interest rate they offered me. They are now offering 5%. New car here I come!

Fun in the Rain?

I decided to travel out of the office for lunch today with a few others. It was rainy and windy, but we decided to “brave the elements.” On the way to get some food we stopped to fuel up the car, and I am so glad we did. We pulled into the gas station right behind this old lady that looked like she was dressed for the Iditarod even though it was probably 50 degrees and raining outside, not -50 degrees and snowing. She starts to fuel up her SUV and then goes for the windshield squeegee. A few of us in the car are confused as to what she could be doing. After all, it is raining out. No need to wipe the windows clean. She starts meticulously cleaning off her tail lights and headlights and we’re all cracking up in the car. Then she goes back for more window cleaner and starts doing the windshield. We all erupt with laughter and fumble with our phones to try and get some video of this lady cleaning her car in the rain (unsuccessful in getting the vid… sorry). Once she finishes up she goes back for some paper towels and starts hand-cleaning the windshield wipers too! Even going as far as to dunk the paper towel in the washer fluid and then wiping the blade clean.

Once she was done she drove away and instantly threw the wipers on. After all, it is raining. So her 10 minutes of work was made irrelevant in an instant. Maybe I’m missing something, but that just seems like a waste of time.

So that is my story for today, reminded me of “Randy in the rain” but that’s a post for another time.

I Am Going To Rot In Hell For Eternity

Well it has been one of those weeks. You know, those weeks that just dominate your soul. You leave work mentally and physically drained. Yeah, it was one of those. In an attempt to blow off steam I decided to go out tonight. Nothing spectacular planned, just hanging out with some friends.

Anyways midway through the night I head to the restrooms to relieve myself. I, of course, don't believe in chatting while "occupied" but after I was done and washing hands a gentleman started chatting with me and I was obliged to continue the conversation. The conversation started as any other might, then the guy said "I am drunker than a skunk on a Tuesday morning"(Still trying to figure that one out). Anyways, I finished cleaning up and was ready to walk out the door when I noticed he was having trouble working the paper towel dispenser. Seeing as we had exchanged pleasantries earlier I nonchalantly asked if he needed a hand. Oh how I would regret this kind gesture. Immediately after I opened my word hole I noticed that the guy I had been talking to had no arms. Luckily he was too drunk to give a crap or just genuinely didn't care. Either way, I walked away feeling like an ass.

The moral of the story is no matter what your intentions, watch your freaking mouth- it'll get you into trouble.

5 Hr Energy < 6 Hr Power

So I saw a commercial today that really made me laugh. Not because it was a clever marketing gimmick, but because it is the definition of one-upsmanship. If such a thing exists.

It must be a sad day for 5 Hour Energy, edged out by 1.

Also, I think the word art adds a lot.

Time

I know it's been a long time since i've posted, but I've been busy. What have I been busy with? ...I didn't really think you'd call me out on that. I was doing... stuff... yeah, stuff. I've actually been extremely busy with work, family, friends, pretty much everything.

It's amazing how fast time can go by. I actually have a theory on that. I think time seems to go by faster and faster each year for a simple reason: a year is a smaller percentage of time as you get older. When I was 5 years old, a year seemed to take forever (because at 5 years old, 1 year was ~20% of my life). Now, years seem to fly by (because at 23 years old, 1 year is ~4% of my life).

Well that was quite the mini-rant. I initially wanted to post more on what i've been doing for the past week or so, but this seems adequate for now.


gg time, gg

A Little Piece of History

Few would argue that the height of Rock came in the ‘60s and ‘70s. Legendary bands took the world by storm. Unfortunately, I was not around to see it. A fact that one person in particular never lets me forget. He always mentions how he was there to see the greats like Led Zeppelin, Pink Floyd, and countless others. I won’t get into the stories, but needless to say, I become green with envy. Luckily, every once in a while he will toss a little piece of memorabilia my way. I know it’s small, but it is way better than some retro style t-shirt that Target or Wal-Mart manufactures and ships in from some small pacific island.

Computer Overload!

Why is there 5 computers sitting on my coffee table? Why not?!?! I just recently purchased a new computer for home development and gaming reasons. This new compy will be a great addition to my collection. If anyone is interested in the specs of my new rig, i'll be glad to fill you in. But I don't feel like posting the specs for all to see (and criticize).

I built the blue acrylic PC for a friend a few years back. Unfortunately she didn't feel like paying me, so I got stuck with the build. If anyone is interested, let me know! The Antec to the right of the acrylic predominately acts as a home PC for my Mom, however it spends just as much time at my place for repairs/re-imaging since both her and my brother take turns breaking it. The Antec to the right of that is my new rig. And as I stated before, it is amazing. I found myself shying away from the lighting effects and took on a more subtle, sleek look. The monster next to my new baby was my latest PC. The case is a beast, and I find it too hard to deal with. Finally, my lappy sits proudly atop the rest. It was originally purchased for development, school, and gaming reasons. As of late, it has filled the role of paperweight wonderfully.

No real reason for this post other than to brag about my new rig. Remember: UP, UP, DOWN, DOWN, LEFT, RIGHT, LEFT, RIGHT, B, A.

The Obvious Truth

Videogames are to blame for every teenager’s problems!

This is obviously a ridiculous statement, but some believe it to be true. It seems that every time a troubled teen commits a crime and that teen happens to play videogames, everyone just assumes that there can only be one logical reason: videogames made him do it.

“Did you hear, some boy stole a car and wrecked it after a police chase?”
“He must have learned that from GTA IV…”

A few months ago, a boy accidentally shot himself in the head with a rifle and people claimed it was because since he played Halo, he must have been pretending he was in the game and would respawn. It most certainly wasn’t because he was a young boy who hadn’t taken gun safety courses. Who knew looking down the barrel of a gun and pulling the trigger would result in death?

Another case just came up where a 17 year old shot both his parents in the head, killing his mother, because they wouldn’t let him play Halo (story here). The judge stated that he firmly believes that the teen wasn’t aware that what he was doing would result in his parents’ death. This is simply ignorance on a level that astounds me. People need to stop deflecting their responsibilities and own up to their failures. If videogames aren’t appropriate for kids, the parents need to step up. When the next game comes out where the main character single-handedly kills thousands of evil creatures, maybe you shouldn’t buy that game for little 8 year old Timmy. Games have ratings for a reason.

The father who was shot in the head by his son said that his son walked into their bedroom and asked his parents to close their eyes and wait for a surprise. Where in any of the Halo games does Master Chief go into his parents’ bedroom and shoot them? Time to face reality- you’re just a crappy parent.

Assailant All Together…

I’m not sure how many people out there know of Mitch Hedberg. But if you don’t, you should. He was a stand-up comedian (who unfortunately lost his life in 2005), and probably one of the best I’ve ever heard. Unlike Dane Cook and half the idiots with Comedy Central specials today, Mitch has staying power. I listen to his albums and they never get old. I laugh just as hard at each joke today as the first time I heard it. It has actually been a while since I’ve listened to him, but I heard a joke of his the other day and it all came flooding back.



One of his jokes (one of my favorites) is about how he would answer the infamous job question, “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” I love this joke! I love it so much in fact that I actually said it in a job interview.

I was interviewing for an intern position for the DBA department at Menards. My first interview was just like any other. It was uncomfortable, cramped, way too hot, and awkward as all hell. Anyways, we’re rolling through the standard interview questions and I’m answering the questions well. Finally, he gets to the last question: “Where do you see yourself in 5 years?” As soon as he asked, all I could think about was Mitch and that joke. So, like a smart-ass, I answered, “Celebrating the 5th year anniversary of you asking me this question!” Needless to say, he was not amused… not in the slightest. Joke’s on them, I got the job!

The moral of the story: act like a smart-ass in a job interview- it can’t fail! Also, listen to Mitch Hedberg, he’s great inspiration.

Norton.. Pwnage Edition

It horrifies me that corporations would do this. How dare they use our coveted word. 'Pwn' is sacred to gamers and the fact that a corporation as big as Symantec would use it for marketing reasons is slightly revolting. Sure it means that the gaming industry has made it to mainstream, but is that really a good thing? Soon every douchebag that needs to be with the 'in' crowd will say it! Unfortunately, it may be time to retire this glorious word... before it is transformed into a vile, horrid shell of what it once was. I really hope 'pwn' and all of its glorious forms doesn't become as overused as 'FAIL'.



For those of you that can’t read the image- get glasses. Or simply go to Symantec’s website and scroll over “Norton Gaming” on the lower right.

Oh, and nice generic Master Chief in the picture, Norton… Have I said ‘I hate you’ yet today?

The Snuggie

Sweatshirts and blankets are for suckers! That’s right, I said it. Every item you can think of; sweaters, wool socks, blankets, fireplaces. They all fail in comparison to the greatest invention ever. I’m sure most of you know, and don’t need to be told. But bear with me. Someone out there on the internet right now is cold, and deep down they know that no matter of clothes will fix their dilemma. Well here is the solution: the Snuggie!

I strongly recommend going to their website and watching the video. The product is explained in such better detail there. There really is nothing quite like taking something as simple as being warm and comfortable, and turning it into a freak show like this.

So I ask you, why would you wear a sweatshirt when you can have fun alienating your friends by wearing a snuggie in your choice of three fantastic colors?

Heroes

This person is my hero...

Have a Safe Drive Home

Last weekend I took a trip up to Lutsen, MN for three days of snowboarding with some friends. Every time I go boarding I have a new story to tell, and this time is no different. There are actually a few stories to share, but I figure I’ll first post about the story relating to my Multiple Choice question.


On the third day of our trip, my friends Mike, Joe, Jamie, and I decided to forgo boarding and drive home early on the already-plowed roads. It was a sunny day out, but frigid (single digit temps with an estimated -30 degree wind chill). We left our hotel and began our ill-fated journey towards Minneapolis. About 30 minutes into our trip, the Mike pulled over to the side of the road to clear some ice from his windshield. Our car pulled up behind the first. Both cars put hazard lights on and were well off the side of the road, to avoid traffic. The cold temperature was causing steam to rise off Lake Superior, creating water spouts. We decided to take the opportunity and snap some pictures. Mike, Joe, and I walked down the road maybe 100 yards to get a better view while Jamie stayed in the second car. We finished taking pictures just as a plow rounded the corner.


As the plow passed us, I watched as the driver lowered the plow and started drifting towards the shoulder and our cars. I remember saying aloud “I hope the plow doesn’t hit our cars.” Just as I finished my sentence we heard the sickening crunch as the plow collided with the cars. At first the three of us stood in disbelief at what had just happened. Joe pretty much summed up our thoughts as he outstretched his arms and uttered “What the F***”. As it began to sink in all at once we realized that Jamie had been in the second car (the now wrecked car) and we began sprinting over to the accident. Luckily she was not seriously injured. She emerged scared, but OK.

The next few hours involved dealing with the plow driver/police/etc. Mike's car wasn't too damaged and we were able to fit our gear and ourselves into his car and drive home. Looking back, I’m not sure why this accident happened. I don’t know if the plow driver was tired, not paying attention, whatever. I do know that we are extremely lucky. If the plow had been further over, Jamie may have been severely injured, and both cars would have most definitely been totaled. But in the same respect, how hard is it to miss two cars with flashing lights on an open, straight, snow-free road in broad daylight?

Multiple Choice

If you were driving a snowplow weighing 50,000lbs (22.32 Tons) and saw two vehicles on the shoulder of the road with hazard lights on, would you:

A) Lower the plow
B) Aim for the vehicles
C) Hit the vehicles
D) All of the above

If you answered “D” then chances are you are a plow operator for Lake County, MN.

Halo

Considering I am waiting in a pre-game lobby for BLaZE so we can play some Halo, I figured now would be a good time to post about what has been something of an obsession for me since the good ‘ol days of college. I was first introduced to Halo way back in freshman year by BLaZE. I started out as one may expect; a complete nub with no concept of the game mechanics. I was the bottom of the totem pole. However, I quickly found myself rising up the ranks. I passed a lot of good men on the way, Blue, Gecko, Trent Lott, and even Ball Cancer. Soon I was in the upper echelon with my creator: BLaZE. Since we were both so good at the game, we were generally on opposing teams. With our competitive nature, this lead to a lot of animosity, but I don’t want to get into that now. What I will get into is how much I miss the original Halo: Combat Evolved.

In college, we would stay up for hours playing Halo. After every game we’d all rush out to the hallway (pretty much everyone on our wing in the dorm played) for a post-game discussion. Life was good. I can remember all it would take was one person to start up their Xbox and play the Halo theme song. Soon 10 or so friends would be crowded around the door… or loading their Xboxes to join the game.

It just hasn’t been the same since the days of Halo: Combat Evolved. I think some of it is that my friends aren’t across the hall anymore and we can’t LAN. But there is also the evolution the game has taken. When Halo 2 came out, a lot of the game dynamics changed, and Halo 3 just solidified it. Granted I still enjoy the games, but it doesn’t compare. I think that Bungie has taken the skill out of the game. In Halo, if you were surrounded by 3 or 4 guys and were by yourself, you could easily emerge victorious if you had a steady aim. The game took skill. Since, it has been a downward spiral of suck. Bungie calls it “Equalization,” I call it pandering to the n00bs. They have adopted a ‘spray and pray’ tactic that has worked so well in the past. Hell, the US used that tactic in the Vietnam War, and look how that turned out. Now if you have a head to head battle, and you come out on top, your shields are most certainly gone and anyone that can send a few bullets your way will get a free kill.

I have a solution: Bungie, develop multiplayer over Xbox Live for Halo: Combat Evolved. I will never need another multiplayer Xbox game again. I'll be in the green pastures of Blood Gulch.